What is love?
Love is one of the most profound emotions known to humans. There are many kinds of love, but most individuals seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner. For some, romantic relationships are meaningful and illuminate all parts of life, providing a deep source of fulfillment. The ability to have a healthy and loving relationship is not innate. In other words, love takes time and effort. In this post I hope to unpack the importance that of love.
The great deal of evidence suggests that the ability to form a stable relationship begins in infancy when a child depends solely on a caregiver to meet his or her needs. I illustrate some basic needs that are crucial for any child to flourish in life but are not limited to food, care, protection, stimulation, and social contact; however, the early relationships do not dictate how relationship formation will continue in life. Nonetheless a child’s earliest experience with a caregiver may appear to establish patterns of relating to others. A failed relationship can occur for many reasons, and that failure is often a source of psychological anguish for some may be anxiety or deep depression. Most of us have to work consciously to master skills necessary to make the children flourish. I have established the inner workings of how love can be formed but now I shift specifically to love.
Love is a force of nature, however, much of what we may want to, we cannot command, demand, or take away love, any more than we can command the moon and the stars and the wind and the rain to come and go according to our whims. We may have some limited ability change the weather, but we do so at the risk of upsetting the ecological balance we do not fully understand. We can stage a seduction or mount a courtship but the result is more likely to be infatuation, or to illusions of dancing together in love.
Love is a force of nature that is bigger than you and I. You can invite love into your life, but you can never dictate how, when, and where love expresses itself. You can choose to surrender to love or not but in the end, love strikes like lightning: unpredictable and irrefutable. You can even find yourself loving people you would never like at all. Love does not come with conditions, stipulations, addenda, or codes. Like the sun, love radiates independently without our fears and desires.
Love is a force of nature that is inherently free. It cannot be bought, sold, or traded. You cannot make someone love you, nor can you prevent it — not for any amount of money. Love cannot be imprisoned, nor can it be legislated. Love is not a substance, not a commodity, not even a marketable power source. Love has no boundaries, no territories, no borders, and no qualified energy output. Love does not keep secrets!
One can buy sex partners and even marriage partners. Look at our current president and his wife. Marriage is a matter of the law, for rules and courts and property rights. In the past, the marriage price or dowry, and in the present, alimony or prenuptial agreement makes it clear that marriage is all about contracts. For as all we know, marriages, whether arrange or not, may have little to do with love.
Sexual stimulation and gratification, whether by ways of fingers, mouths, objects, fancy play, whips and chains, or intercourse, can be bought and sold, not to mention, used to accomplish other things. Whether sex should be for sale is another question entirely, but love itself can never be sold. One can buy loyalty, companionship, attention, and even compassion but love itself cannot be bought. An orgasm can be bought but love cannot.
Love cannot be turned on as a reward. Love cannot be turned off as a punishment. Only something else pretending to be used as love can lure, someone, as a hook, to imitate and insinuate love, but the real deal can never be delivered if it is not given freely from the heart.
The ideas that love allows for destructive and abusive behaviors to go unchecked is unbelievably false. Love speaks out for justice and protests when harm is being done. Love points out the consequences of hurting oneself or others. Love allows room for anger, grief, or pain to be expressed and released, but love, does not threaten to withhold itself if it does not get what it wants. Love does not say, directly or indirectly, “If you do this, I will not love you anymore.” Love does not say, “Do what I want,” or “Promise you will never leave me.” Love does not have limitations or circumstances.
Love cares what becomes of you, because love knows that we are all interconnected. Love is inherently compassionate and empathetic. Love is never short with explanations. Love knows that the “other” is also oneself. This is the true nature of love, and love itself cannot be manipulated or restrained. Love honors the sovereignty of each soul. Love is its own law.
In this post, I have explained that love is formed early on in life. I then illustrate some of the crucial characteristics of love and how I feel it is undoubtably a force that is often confused with infatuation but I someday hope you find love.
- What you think?
- Why do I have so much love to give and no one to receive it?
- What should I do?
- Connect with me….
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